Wednesday, November 15, 2006

P.A.S.

Practice Avoidance Syndrome. There are many reasons musicians give for not wanting to practice. I think the biggest triggers for me are 1) I have too much to get done and I don't know where to start and 2) something on that too-long list has some time pressure involved. I've been that way all my life. Give me a big project and a due date and - the house gets very clean and every other task I've been putting off either gets done or makes significant progress. And the problem with that approach would be... ? I mean, the project always gets done (usually the day or the night before) and I like a clean house as well as anyone. The ulcers are incidental. But I do feel badly that it makes my husband crazy.

I knew last week that my PAS was getting out of hand. I had a concert on Monday, and thus those orchestral pieces I listed a while back to perfect. And I have started working on the 2nd Bach Suite as my big project in my lessons. That in itself is wonderful. I love that suite, especially the prelude, and it's a delight to finally feel ready to work on it. But I can't just play it into perfection, and I'm still devising practice strategies for this kind of music. And I've felt disappointment that I'm not getting this faster emanating from the general direction of my teacher in the past couple of lessons. (Is it real or Memorex? His disappointment or my projection?)

So, thank you PFS for this completely irrelevant Breval project. It reminds me how well I can work on something that nobody cares about but me. And at least I'm practicing something!

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